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Could the example set by the Duchess of Cambridge with the Royal Baby help reduce the stigma of breastfeeding and lessen the number of mothers who give up nursing shortly after leaving the hospital? How important is it for public figures to set the tone?

The Duchess of Cambridge is reportedly successfully breastfeeding newborn Prince George after a shaky start, following recent traditions set by Princess Diana and the Queen Mother. The efforts of public figures in setting the example are an ongoing source of inspiration for new mothers to persevere with their own efforts of nursing, especially when for centuries in the past, royal babies were traditionally handed over to wet nurses soon after birth.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. But the latest data showed only 47.2% of moms were still nursing their babies at 6 months and only 25.5% at 12 months.

Despite the numerous benefits, many new mothers give up nursing due to the stigma of breastfeeding – their fear of being able to nurse their babies discreetly in public; their reluctance to deal with society’s perception that breastfeeding in public is inappropriate despite the many laws passed in the United States that protect a woman’s right to breastfeed in any place, public or private, as long as she’s authorised to be there; or the lack of support from their employer to enable them to express their milk while at work.

So, how can every mom be expected to continue nursing her child when she is confronted with this stigma at every turn? …Read more

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It is AWESOME when a total stranger supports a mother’s efforts to breastfeed in public!  “A breastfeeding mother at a pizza restaurant got the surprise of her life when she received a free pizza and a kind note on her receipt from a waitress.”  ~ Read the article by Yahoo Shine entitled “Breastfeeding Note From Pizza Waitress Pays It Forward” at http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/parenting/breastfeeding-note-from-pizza-waitress-pays-it-forward-164047499.html

 

 

 

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31*C feels like 39*C …. yes, it feels as if we’re above 100*F. The forecast has been predicting thunderstorms for the past few days and although the clouds did roll in, raising our hopes for the briefest of moments, they soon left, leaving clear blue skies and the strong sun shinning in through my windows. Sitting in my living room (which could almost pass for a sauna) trying to write, I’m reminded of one of my favourite songs by Sting, “Heavy Cloud No Rain”. Ever heard this one?

“Heavy Cloud No Rain”

Turned on the weather man just after the news
I needed sweet rain to wash away my blues
He looked at the chart but he looked in vain
Heavy cloud but no rain

Back in the time with louis xvi
At the court of the people he was number one
He’d be the bluest blood they’d ever seen
When the king said hi to the guillotine
The royal astrologer was run out of breath
He thought that maybe the rain would postpone his death
He look in the sky but he look in vain
Heavy cloud but no rain

Well the land was cracking and the river was dry
All the crops were dying when they ought to be high
So to save his farm from the banker’s draft
The farmer took out a book on some old witchcraft
He made a spell and a potion on a midsummer’s night
He killed a brindled calf in the pale moonlight
He prayed to the sky but he prayed in vain
Heavy cloud but no rain

Heavy cloud but no rain

The sun won’t shine till the clouds are gone
The clouds won’t go till their work is done
And every morning you’ll hear me pray
If only it would rain today

I asked my baby if there’d be some way
She said she’d save her love for a rainy day
I look in the sky but i look in vain

Heavy cloud but no rain

—- Sting.

Source: Lyrics from eLyrics.net

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Independence and freedom from troubled marriages comes at a high price.

After the Fourth of July BBQs are over and after the fireworks are gone, many Americans are thankful for the independence they have today but this may not extend to everyone. Many are still trapped in a troubled marriage and trying to reestablish their independence even though the price of freedom doesn’t come cheap.  

A recent analysis conducted by Pew Research Center shows that households with children headed by single parents have increased from eight percent in 1960 to 33 percent in 2011. The divorce rate has increased from 2.2 in 1960 to 3.6 in 2009 

So what’s the price of freedom these single parents have paid? …Read more

Pew Research Center recently conducted an analysis of each parent’s total workload, comprising paid work, child care and housework. It found that in dual-income households, fathers put in, on average, 58 hours a week, compared with 59 hours for mothers but the distribution between paid work, housework and childcare was quite different. In households where the father is the sole breadwinner, his total workload exceeded that of his partner by only 11 hours (57 vs. 46 hours per week) but in households where the mother is the sole breadwinner, her total workload exceeded that of her partner by about 25 hours (58 vs. 33 hours per week).

“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave – Martin Luther”

Is it any wonder that working mothers often perceive inequalities within their own marriages?  …Read more

According to a recent Pew Research Center analysis, working moms are the sole or primary provider in four-in-ten households with children, as compared to one-in-ten (11%) back in 1960. Not all are breadwinners by choice. 63% of these women are single mothers who earn a median income of $23,000, less than a third of the $80,000 median total family income of married mothers who earn more than their husbands. With adequate resources and someone to take care of the family, it can work out for the single mother but what if she doesn’t have them? Who pays the price when she has to work? …Read more

“I am a single mom and I’m the breadwinner and I have to work and I have to do these things and that’s just the way it is – Charisma Carpenter”

 

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It was past midnight and I had finished putting away all the dishes.  Everyone else was fast asleep and I was exhausted.  Growing up, when I was a little girl playing with dolls and toy cooking sets, it was all fun and games.  Later as a young adult, it was jokes and banter over the horror stories.  It never struck me that as a mother, a wife, I would be this tired and this lost.

It was now coming to the end of the fourth month since Emma was born.  Every morning, I dragged myself out of bed before the sun rose to breastfeed the sleepy little Emma and express as much milk as I could before work.  It was stressful, trying to get my breast pump sterilized, all the apparatus packed so I could express at work and Emma changed before I dropped her at the daycare.  I was going insane, rushing every morning in order to make it to work before eight thirty.

At work, I struggled as my body wreaked havoc on me.  Late morning meetings that dragged on to lunch time were the worst because by that time, I was literally dying to express and having massive let downs in my nursing pads.  It became nearly impossible to concentrate on whatever was being discussed during those times.

Just last week, I had not positioned my nursing pad properly and the milk had soaked through to my shirt.  It was bad enough having my now enhanced curves and cleavage scanned by the older, more lecherous males in the office whilst trying to pretend I didn’t notice or care.  But that was the worse day — those same men were watching the stain spread on my white shirt as I tried to pretend that there was nothing wrong.  Days like that, I really regretted waking up in the morning and going to work.

To make matters worse, my milk supply was dwindling whilst Emma’s demand for milk was increasing.  I wasn’t able to express as much at work anymore.  I used to be able to express at least eighteen ounces a day my first week back at work, but now after ten weeks, that had dropped by one-third and I was perpetually worried Emma wouldn’t have enough breast milk to see her through until her first birthday.  I really wanted to try and fully breastfeed Emma for the first year of her life.

I was fully engorged in the evenings by the time I picked Emma up from daycare — feeding her was a relief although I had to hold off feeding her when I got home until my breast pump was sterilized.  I needed to catch any excess milk that dripped out uncontrollably from the other side while she was feeding.  Every drop had become extra precious to me and I couldn’t afford to lose a single one now.

To read more, go to http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Milk-lactation-confessions-struggling/dp/0991819403

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So, “Star Wars” creator George Lucas, 69, wed his longtime girlfriend, Mellody Hobson, 44, recently.

Thinking about the older man, younger woman relationship (which I have also explored recently in Sweet on Me), I was trying to summarize the reasons why younger women prefer older men. Could it possibly be because of:

• her search for love/connection? Women are more focused on making a connection earlier on in their lives. It would be easier for her to connect with a more matured and established man, than someone her age who is still consumed with driving his career (and not connecting with her!).
• her need to feel significant? She would have the freedom to drive her career and not be competing with her other half (or worrying about who’s going to be there for the kids!) as he would have already hit the peak of his career and established his own financial independence.
• his ability to provide her with stability and security? The older man would be emotionally more matured, grounded and wiser – better able to focus on having a serious relationship and fatherhood.
• his wealth of experience? With age comes experience. With experience, comes knowledge from which she would benefit.
• the freedom to pursue her career? She has the option of driving her career when he retires and stays home with the kids, just like Xerox CEO Ursula Burns.

Thoughts, anyone?

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I had heard all the stories, the old wives’ tales, the dos and the don’ts.
I had read books and researched materials on the Internet.
I made sure I bought everything I could think of beforehand — the baby clothes, the baby bottles, the diapers, the diaper rash medication, the lotions, the soaps and the baby cot.
I planned upfront all the housework that needed to be done and did as much as I could before I entered the labour room so there would be less to do when I got home with her.
I had even meditated and got myself into a Zen-like-state so that I would be as ready as I could be to bring her into this world.
I wanted to be ready.
I had thought I was ready.
I really believed I was ready.
That is, until the milk came.

For more information, go to http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Milk-confessions-struggling-ebook/dp/B00AQBDRFI

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It’s three a.m. and the baby is still crying. Exhaustion, sleep deprivation and lack of intimacy with your partner have become a normal part of life over the past few months. With approximately 4 million babies born in the United States annually and Father’s Day just around the corner, is it any wonder that many new dads are asking themselves, “Is this what fatherhood is all about? Surely there must be more to it than just this.”

There is and it is possible to embrace life as a new dad.

But seriously – is embracing fatherhood really that important?

President Obama grew up without his dad, and has said that being a father is the most important job he has. According to the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC), an Office of Family Assistance (OFA) funded national resource, “fatherlessness is a growing crisis in America, one that undergirds many of the challenges that families are facing. When dads aren’t around, young people are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, be involved in the criminal justice system, and become young parents themselves.” This is not a small issue since out of the estimated 70 million fathers in the United States in 2011, about 16% or 25 million men had children younger than 18.

So, where does one start?

It begins when the new baby comes home, and you adjust to life as a proud dad. No one plans to fail but many fail to plan.  Here are some ideas for this Father’s Day to all the new and not-so-new dads out there:

• Chill out – You need your own personal space and the opportunity to retreat into your man-cave. The only thing is – make sure your partner understands why you are doing it. You don’t want her to misconstrue it and think that you are avoiding her. Be fair. Offer her the same time out for herself.

• Take charge – Be responsible for some tasks. It will please her, make her appreciate you even more and contribute to the peace at home. If you can’t do it, get professional help. Hire a cleaning service. Hire a doula who can assist by providing information, physical assistance and emotional support. If your partner is having problems breastfeeding, don’t try to understand her stress. Just be as supportive as you can and get a professional lactation consultant to help.

• Bring out the Don Juan in you – Missing the good old days? It’s true there’s a new love in her life but she still loves you. It may be hard to tear her away from her newborn (near impossible in the beginning, actually!) but time together – alone – can help rebuild the intimacy in your relationship. Give her alternatives she can be comfortable with, like getting a trusted family member or friend to help babysit for an hour or two.

• Be Sherlock Holmes – Do you feel she’s not the same woman you fell in love with and she’s taking you on an emotional rollercoaster which you just can’t wait to get away from? In some cases, she may be experiencing some level of postpartum depression. According to womenshealth.gov, about 13 percent of pregnant women and new mothers have depression. Seek advice from a doctor. You can’t handle this alone.

• Pay it forward – Take the President’s Fatherhood Pledge. That’s why President Obama is joining dads from across the nation in a fatherhood pledge – a pledge that fathers will do everything they can to be there for their children and for young people whose dads are not around.

So, how are you going to make your Father’s Day different this year?