Archive for the ‘love’ Tag

Why do younger women prefer older men?   Leave a comment

So, “Star Wars” creator George Lucas, 69, wed his longtime girlfriend, Mellody Hobson, 44, recently.

Thinking about the older man, younger woman relationship (which I have also explored recently in Sweet on Me), I was trying to summarize the reasons why younger women prefer older men. Could it possibly be because of:

  • her search for love/connection? Women are more focused on making a connection earlier on in their lives. It would be easier for her to connect with a more matured and established man, than someone her age who is still consumed with driving his career (and not connecting with her!).
  • her need to feel significant? She would have the freedom to drive her career and not be competing with her other half (or worrying about who’s going to be there for the kids!) as he would have already hit the peak of his career and established his own financial independence.
  • his ability to provide her with stability and security? The older man would be emotionally more matured, grounded and wiser – better able to focus on having a serious relationship and fatherhood.
  • his wealth of experience? With age comes experience. With experience, comes knowledge from which she would benefit.
  • the freedom to pursue her career? She has the option of driving her career when he retires and stays home with the kids, just like Xerox CEO Ursula Burns.

Thoughts, anyone?

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Dad’s First Father’s Day – Five Ideas to Happiness   Leave a comment

It’s three a.m. and the baby is still crying. Exhaustion, sleep deprivation and lack of intimacy with your partner have become a normal part of life over the past few months. With approximately 4 million babies born in the United States annually and Father’s Day just around the corner, is it any wonder that many new dads are asking themselves, “Is this what fatherhood is all about? Surely there must be more to it than just this.”

There is and it is possible to embrace life as a new dad.

But seriously – is embracing fatherhood really that important?

President Obama grew up without his dad, and has said that being a father is the most important job he has. According to the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC), an Office of Family Assistance (OFA) funded national resource, “fatherlessness is a growing crisis in America, one that undergirds many of the challenges that families are facing. When dads aren’t around, young people are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, be involved in the criminal justice system, and become young parents themselves.” This is not a small issue since out of the estimated 70 million fathers in the United States in 2011, about 16% or 25 million men had children younger than 18.

So, where does one start?

It begins when the new baby comes home, and you adjust to life as a proud dad. No one plans to fail but many fail to plan.  Here are some ideas for this Father’s Day to all the new and not-so-new dads out there:

    • Chill out – You need your own personal space and the opportunity to retreat into your man-cave. The only thing is – make sure your partner understands why you are doing it. You don’t want her to misconstrue it and think that you are avoiding her. Be fair. Offer her the same time out for herself.
    • Take charge – Be responsible for some tasks. It will please her, make her appreciate you even more and contribute to the peace at home. If you can’t do it, get professional help. Hire a cleaning service. Hire a doula who can assist by providing information, physical assistance and emotional support. If your partner is having problems breastfeeding, don’t try to understand her stress. Just be as supportive as you can and get a professional lactation consultant to help.
    • Bring out the Don Juan in you – Missing the good old days? It’s true there’s a new love in her life but she still loves you. It may be hard to tear her away from her newborn (near impossible in the beginning, actually!) but time together – alone – can help rebuild the intimacy in your relationship. Give her alternatives she can be comfortable with, like getting a trusted family member or friend to help babysit for an hour or two.
    • Be Sherlock Holmes – Do you feel she’s not the same woman you fell in love with and she’s taking you on an emotional rollercoaster which you just can’t wait to get away from? In some cases, she may be experiencing some level of postpartum depression. According to womenshealth.gov, about 13 percent of pregnant women and new mothers have depression. Seek advice from a doctor. You can’t handle this alone.
    • Pay it forward – Take the President’s Fatherhood Pledge. That’s why President Obama is joining dads from across the nation in a fatherhood pledge – a pledge that fathers will do everything they can to be there for their children and for young people whose dads are not around.

So, how are you going to make your Father’s Day different this year?

Sweet on Me, the latest Bedroom Secrets novel has arrived on Amazon!   Leave a comment

Check out the new Bedroom Secrets novel, Sweet on Me, a tale of seduction, money and love – now available on Amazon. It’s a Kindle Edition – so those without a Kindle reader or app can use the Kindle Cloud reader to read it!

SOM KDP Cover

“Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

Terrible things have been done to me. It arouses me. Pleasure at being used by a man I barely know in exchange for money. Even though I never sought him out in the first place, I cannot resist temptation. I have to go back for more.”

Tony Woods is bored. Money doesn’t excite him anymore but corrupting the straight-laced, naïve Ophelia does. He has no qualms making her into his personal sex toy.

Ophelia Wilde isn’t the same woman she was before. A year ago, she was an abused wife, unfamiliar with life’s pleasures. Now, her senses are on fire but she’s dying of shame, desperately trying to juggle her conscience and her wallet.

Trapped by her lies, she struggles to hide her sins from her new-found love, Josh Summers, living in fear of discovery every day. He is drawn to her vulnerability, seeking only to protect her from the big bad wolves out there, not knowing that she already belongs to one.

Will Ophelia find a way to leave Tony and escape the chains of her past, or will her misdeeds destroy Josh’s trust in her? Can their love survive the weight of her guilt?

Click here to preview!

Seven acts of love for Mother’s day   Leave a comment

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs … since the payment is pure love” – Mildred B. Vermont.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Seven acts of love from my two wonderful children for Mother’s day – Each coupon can be used 10 times but I have to go through the whole coupon booklet to get something a second time. Plus, there’s no expiry date!

I requested for an additional bonus coupon – can you guess which one?

Looking for a hero   Leave a comment

Looking for a hero

Having just delivered a baby, faced with engorgement as her breasts overflow with milk, where does a woman turn to for help? The one closest to her, the one whom she believes can save her, the one whom she puts all her faith into finding a solution for her .. her hero, her saviour, her husband.

Breastfeeding is never easy for a new mother and when her body becomes a stranger to her in the middle of the night, behaving in ways unfamiliar to her, giving her pain beyond anything she ever imagined before, she turns to the love of her life for help.

But often … can love be enough when the solution is not what she expects? Desperate times call for desperate measures … but is she desperate enough? She wants to be saved, but when his actions take her beyond her comfort zone, pushing her into the realm of the unknown … is it enough for the ends to justify the means?

As a man, he wants to be her hero, her knight in shinning armour ~ the one who keeps her safe … but how can he protect her from herself? How can he stop her from turning on him when the solution he presents to her is something she isn’t ready to accept?

And yet despite everything, she still wants her hero to save her.

Are there “evil witches” trying to tell you how to live your life?   Leave a comment

Even now, the words were ringing in my mind, “Suck it up, Megan. Stop being such a whinny baby. Tiredness and exhaustion are part of motherhood. Get used to it. This is only the beginning. We have all gone through it before and survived.” – Crazy for Milk

It is hard to imagine a parent, an older sibling, the in-laws or even a friend saying those things when you’re just struggling to cope and make sense of everything. I know many of the mothers I have spoken to shared the same experience.

Recently, a friend asked whether anyone had actually said those words to me. My answer was a resounding YES! It happened when I had reached out for help and received a lecture in return ~ one of my inspirations for writing that scene between Megan and her own “evil witches”.

Image courtesy of debspoons / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“About 13 percent of pregnant women and new mothers have depression.”   Leave a comment

Depression during and after pregnancy

I came across this site recently, womenshealth.gov, a project of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women’s Health.

It contained an interesting fact sheet on Depression During and After Pregnancy, which you can read here.

Did you know that you may experience the following feelings with postpartum depression?

  • Tired after delivery
  • Tired from a lack of sleep or broken sleep
  • Overwhelmed with a new baby
  • Doubts about your ability to be a good mother
  • Stress from changes in work and home routines
  • An unrealistic need to be a perfect mom
  • Loss of who you were before having the baby
  • Less attractive
  • A lack of free time

It is sad when many times, these emotions are not given sufficient credibility by both the mother experiencing them and the people around her, leaving her to feel alone, misunderstood and inadequate.

Love yourself.
Love your partner.
Love your child.
Awareness helps.

Read the Fact Sheet here.

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