Archive for the ‘work’ Tag

When Being The Breadwinner Single Mom Isn’t Enough to Pay the Bills   Leave a comment

Mark Twain once said, “The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

There is a hidden unvoiced fear in every stay-at-home-moms’ heart – the ability to provide for her family if she ended up alone.  After years of being out of the job market, she would have her own set of challenges when seeking employment again.  So, I decided to talk about the financial challenges a single mom has to face being the breadwinner for her family in my latest book, Sweet On Me.

When the money isn’t enough and the bills are piling up, the alternatives may seem limited but there are other options:

  • Taking a pay cut in the beginning. She may have been out of the market for several years and re-entry at the same level of salary may not be possible. Working for less would help make getting a job easier. Some organizations even offer “returnship” programs which pay little or nothing but participants stand a higher opportunity of landing full-time positions.
  • Opting for different job roles or positions which may vary significantly from what she may be used to but have a higher likelihood of being obtained. Even if it is significantly out of her comfort zone, it still pays for the bills at the end of the day.
  • Going back to school in order to make herself more marketable, when her existing qualifications are insufficient in the current environment.
  • Not being afraid to seek help from friends and family. They may not have the means to help financially but they may be able to help with childcare or even a place to stay in times of need.

With a family to provide for, the single mom shouldn’t be forced to extremes from a lack of money … well at least, hopefully not like Ophelia in Sweet On Me 🙂

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Guilt is my steadfast motherhood companion   1 comment

Since embracing motherhood years ago, guilt has been my steadfast companion. No matter how much I think I’ve found the perfect solution – guilt has never left me.

Armed with my education and experience, my climb up the corporate ladder was rewarding yet disturbing with guilt constantly whispering in my ear about the time I wasn’t spending with my kids, the concerts I had missed, the times I didn’t make it home to tuck them in bed … The times I spent screaming at them to hurry in the mornings because I was late for a meeting, the weekends spent at the laptop instead of outside in the sun with them because I had a deadline to meet.

Sacrifice! I told myself. Career can take a back seat, I told myself. Stay at home, make them your priority, you don’t need to have it all. They need you. Money isn’t everything.

And now, after years of being home with them, I find myself a shadow of the independent woman I once was, dependent on my partner to support the family. Guilty because I don’t contribute financially to the family, guilty because I wasted all the years I invested in my education and my career, trying to be the best I could be …

Now guilt haunts me as I ask the children to study hard and do their best … What kind of example are you setting for your children? It asks me.

The choices have never been easy.

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